Challenges

Okay. I've been informed I need to get back with the program here. Sorry; I was trying to write exclusively about my work with the moderation book--which has stalled out. However! Do not believe that my work has stalled out--oh, no. I'm actually feeling quite a lot of s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g that all started back with Ms. Brestin. So I will tell you about that, I guess.

• Eating in moderation--permanently living out the ideas I've read so far. I'm doing reasonably well with this; much better than before I started. And someday...slowly, slowly, slowly...making through the book.
• Exercise--check! I was more than a little excited to go buy new (smaller) pants the other day because the others were falling off my body. Now I just need to figure out how to get them to be comfy when I sit down. This will probably require closer attention to the bullet point above.
• Becoming "completely...gentle." (Eph. 4:2) A friend of mine told me about how someone at her day care job got sacked for being too rough with the kids--grabbing at them, yelling, etc. I realized that if I would be fired from a day care for the way I treated my own kids, I needed to get a grip on my impatience and anger issues. Now.
• Proverbs 31 transformation stuff--I didn't choose this but it got chosen for me by my dear leaders at the mom's study. They are encouraging us to actively dig in and seek transformation; memorizing the appropriate scriptures and then living them out. So I'm working on Prov. 31:15 and 27: "She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens," and "She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness." I haven't risen any earlier than usual (though, I may point out, it's still dark when I do wake up) so a big "wah-wah-wah" there. But I think God's given me the beginnings of a transformation in the second one. I feel like I haven't sat down and been idle in a week. Lots of housework getting done around here. That's good; but I'm also starting to pray now for wisdom about appropriate and necessary rest. I find that when a certain time/day is really full, it's that much harder for me to make any productive use at all of downtime. So I'll spend an hour perusing ...nothing...on the internet rather than resting in a more actually restful way.
• Co-leading a small group; wanting to do more than just the minimum, wanting to really invest in the ladies, wanting to really see them grow and take off--but having little confidence in anything except my ability to do a lesson. I feel like I need a shepherding spirit that I don't have. It's easy to compare myself to what I *think* others are like. I feel inadequate and insecure, but I know God loves these ladies way more than I do and wants to see them benefit and grow more than I do also.
• Being a better wife who doesn't critique or nag; who trusts and submits cheerfully to Mark's leadership; needing to pray for him as he leads.
• Being a godly mom to these precious little ones who sometimes make me crazy, sometimes livid. E.g. There was poop on my kitchen floor today.
• Walking worthy of the calling I've received (Eph. 4:1). Perhaps this will be my next post; but essentially I'm trying to respond to these and all other challenges in a way that is worthy of the Lord's investment in me and love for me.