It's gonna take time
A whole lot of precious time
It's gonna take patience and time, ummm
To do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it
To do it right child
I'm thinking about time. How we only have so many hours in a day, so many days in a lifetime. What circumstances and routines are part of my life only for a season, and which are more permanent? And what should I do about which ones accordingly?
For instance. Home decor and cleanliness. I feel like it's lacking. But is this just the season (the age of small children) for general disorder and dirtiness, or am I just a lazy, dirty person? Do I need to "work on" it, or just entirely put it out of my mind and be thankful that I can't feel the crumbs on my feet if I wear shoes in the house?
Or here's another--devotional times. Many times Bible study happens for me only if it's in preparation for a specific event. Is this just because during my waking hours there really is a very small, hard-to-see window of opportunity for study; or am I just a slacker who needs to increase her waking hours and her diligence? Does my desire just to sit and do something mindless after the kids go to bed instead of satiating myself with slow digestion of the sweet morsels of the bread of the Word (or something spiritual sounding) mean that I'm not really a lover of the Lord...or just that I'm a tired mom?
See, I found exercise to be something that I "couldn't" easily accommodate before, but now I have pretty much made the change in my life because I finally sucked it up in commitment and looked to God for it. Is it the same with everything? Or do we have permission to not be entirely awesome in every way?
Mom's Bible study group is studying Proverbs 31 these days. "An excellent wife, who can find?" Yeah, that's what I want to know. My response to it so far is torn--on the one hand I want to grow to be as excellent a woman as possible, to embody this lady very well. On the other hand, I feel even to do or be what I'm already doing or being is a constant challenge on its own. I don't want to say, "Oh, you're good enough..." but sometimes I just want to call it good enough. Thinking about it makes me tired.
Thoughts?
I think there is a good bit of this being a season. For me I know I don't utilize all of my time to the best of my ability. I think at some point I need to learn how to clean and tidy (other than toys) while Sammy is awake. I don't know how people can have a spotless house and young children.. but when I find someone I am going to demand the magic formula ;-). Now as far as devotions.. I am struggling. I am doing our study and digging pretty deep but other than that.. I got nothing. I have been afraid to say this to anyone besides Tim but lately I have been feeling like.. whats the point. I will never know it all I will never learn it all. So I have just been praying for God to give me a desire to learn and grow. So now that that is out on the table.. :-P I am going to go back to hiding behind the computer ;-)
ReplyDeleteGood questions, Katie. I love you. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat's most important? Jesus, Mark, Kids, Being a steward of what God's given you...
Basically I have no answers to your questions...I'm not in the "small kids" stage of life. But one thing I know: God loves me (and you) like crazy and longs to reveal Himself to us more and more. We don't have to spend time with God. We get to spend time with God. We get God. Wow. (This coming from a girl who still hasn't cracked The Word yet today...)
Also, this may be totally random, but a friend of mine has been going through a hard season in life and found great encouragement in being reminded of God's simple truth...the power of the cross, God's grace...all things that she "knows" but doesn't really know...she doesn't live as if they are true. Maybe we know the answers to these questions, we just don't know them.
Ha. Love you. Let's Skype soon.