Too little, too late

I was picking up the kids from the gym just now and there was a little old lady sittimg there. She watched me kneel om the carpet as I tried to get each one out of the wagon, get their coats on, keep each one from entirely sprinting away on feet or knees while I fussed with the other, get my own coat on...

"Please don't go now," she says. Is she talking to me? Or just to Joel, who is about to bolt again?

"You're lucky to have a girl," she told me. I nodded and she began to say something about her daughter-in-law. I think she might have said she wanted to put her in a nursing home, but she told her son she didn't want to go. I didn't really hear her, but I didn't ask.

"You want to come to me?" She asked Joel and held out her arms to him. I saw she wanted to hold him and lifted him up to her.

As she holds him, she says, "He is so beautiful," and starts ...tearing up? Is she crying, or are her eyes just watering? I don't know, but I feel bad as I take Joel back. Whoa! Noelle, come back here away from the automatic door!

"You're lucky to have one of each," she says. I nod and say, "Yes, they're pretty special." Well, we're ready to go now...

"I haven't held (or had?) a baby in eighteen years. They're all grown up...You going home now?" She takes out a tissue for her eyes.

"Yes," I say. "Well, we're here most days so hopefully we'll see you again." Okay, gathering the bags. "Well, you have a merry Christmas," I say with a smile.

"I hope so," she responds.

I head out the door feeling bad, wondering what else there is to say. I'm not five feet out the door before I hear in my head, Go back and talk to her. She is sad. I keep walking.

'Yes, yes. She is sad. That is sad. Maybe I will see her again and talk to her longer."

No, go now and let her hold the kids and ask her what's going on...
Oh! It's You, Lord, isn't it. Of course it is. But we're going out to the car. Still walking.

"That would be nice, huh. Too bad we're already outside walking in this direction."

What else do you have to do? Nothing. Go love on that lady. She is sad!

"Oh....oh...snap! Am I going to obey? Am I? Am I?" We just reached the car. It's only been a minute or two. "Aah! Yes! Just do it!" I look down at Noelle. "Sweetie, that lady is sad. Jesus wants us to go and talk to her and try to make her happy, okay? You want to do that with me?"

"Make her happy? Yeah!"

We turn around and go back in. "Okay, God. I'll just do it. Go in there and hand her Joel. I hope she's still there. It's only been a minute. Sorry, I should have done this faster. I knew it was You."

She was gone.

Obedience. Too little, too late.

Every day, I tell Noelle how I expect her to obey me the first time, every time. Now I have to explain to her why we're turning around again, because Mommy heard Jesus tell her to go be nice to the lady, but Mommy didn't obey fast enough. Mommy's head is full of scriptures right now about what she should have done, and why. And Mommy is sorry.

I really am.